Judged
by Shunkahah Wanagi
Summary: Not many people can say they experienced a life altering moment so immense that in the moment it happens you are brought to your knees. I could though. The moment clicked in my mind and my knees buckled into the cold mud. The rain was soaking into my every pore as I stared into the woods.I felt as if I had taken a wrecking ball to the gut. The air left my lungs with a whoosh.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Full Summary: Not many people can say they experienced a life altering moment so immense that in the moment it happens you are brought to your knees. I could though. The moment clicked in my mind and my knees buckled into the cold mud. The rain was soaking into my every pore as I stared into the woods. My eyes were stinging from the beads of water pelting them. The mud crept through the fabric of my jeans and slithered over my calves. My hair was sticking to my face as the wind took a few strands and whipped the cropped tresses around. I felt as if I had taken a wrecking ball to the gut. The whoosh of air left my lungs punctuated by the angry clap of thunder over head. _

* * *

**JUDGED**

_Chapter 1_

* * *

I have been told before that my eyes were demonic; black, emotionless, endless holes.

The elders around me would whisper about how they grew darker as I aged. The adults of the tribe were almost afraid of me as a child. I was judged wrongly from such a young age.

The men of the tribe glared and puffed up their chest. They tried to intimidate me.

It never worked.

My peers judged me because of the apathy I displayed. I was an outcast and a mystery.

I was sent to counselors starting in 4th grade. They tried talking to me for years about what was bothering me. They tried different techniques and childish methods to get me to talk to them. I never said a word.

I didn't say hello. I didn't say goodbye. I sat in the room and stared at the countless psychologists year after year. I tried not to get angry though. If they set me off then they knew what was wrong.

But by high school, I was untouchable. I had perfected the concealed rage and mastered the rules of life.

My anger was the only emotion that I ever let come forth. My anger rivaled that of any known on the reservation. At 6'6" with muscles formed out of need, I was unstoppable. I was notorious for my fits of rage.

That's where I was right now; in a fit of rage.

Sam Uley stood in front of me with a fearful gaze fixed on my shaking form. His little goon stood behind him to the left of me watching with a pained expression.

I felt like heat was slithering up my spine starting at my tail bone. Once the heat reached the base of my skull, it expanded out into my limbs. The simmering heat seemed to coat all of my bones before intensifying. The heat got worse and worse until I was sweating thorough my jeans.

Then the dull ache from the heat started. It grew until I was screaming in pain.

My skin felt like it was peeling right off my body. The muscles I maintained seemed to be melting and dripping off my bones. Once I was bare of skin and muscle my bones bowed until the pressure was too much and they snapped; a splintering feel, not clean break.

Then voices began talking in the native tongue of our tribe. They were wondering if I spoke the native language, with I did but I wasn't going to share with them.

The pain suddenly stopped. The heat was gone in the blink of an eye. I was left on my hands and knees.

I let my eyes focus. I was staring at two wolves. They were keeping their eyes on me but were glancing at each other.

**Paul.**

I whipped around looking for the source of the voice.

**Paul, it's in your mind. We share a mind.**

A dark, vicious snarl ripped through the air and echoed off the trees. I again looked around for the source.

**Paul it was you. I'm Sam Uley. The myths about our tribe descending from wolves are true. Within certain bloodlines and under the right circumstances, our body takes on a spirit wolf. You're a spirit warrior now. **

My eyes snapped to my body. I was staring at a silver fur coated chest and legs with two massive paws digging into the soil of my backyard. My gaze slowly returned to the wolves in front of me.

The larger wolf had a black coat with yellow eyes. The one slightly behind it to the left of me was a mixture of dark and light browns with forest green eyes.

The fear in their eyes was directed at me. I fed on it almost. I liked people being scared of me.

The black wolf growled lowly at the same time the brown one stalked forward.

**I am your alpha Paul. You will respect me.**

I snarled letting the anger and dark quality in my head flow out.

_Earn it._

The brown one, Jared I assumed, lunged at me with his pack status on repeat in his mind.

His paw made contact with my shoulder but did nothing. His body slammed into mine but didn't move me.

_I'm bigger then you._

I slammed both my paws down onto his throat before he could roll over and stand up. My back right paw pressed down on his stomach as I crushed his trachea.

Sam snarled at me viciously as Jared's thoughts became fuzzy. I released after a few minutes.

Jared was unconscious but alive. I stepped over his limp form and ducked my head snarling at Sam. I wasn't respecting anyone without them earning.

Sam snarled at me but his mind was a jumbled mess of Jared and some woman. Her face was marred with deep angry scars.

_Tssk. Tssk. Tssk. Alpha wolf harmed a female? Disrespectful. _

Sam's emotions burst through the seams of his mind with raw power. I staggered back from the self hate that poured out of him. Jared began to stir as the emotional onslaught continued.

My thoughts suddenly weren't my own. A foreign feel to them lingered as a memory played on repeat.

_**A woman stood with her arms waving around as she yelled at me. She was so angry and it hurt that she was mad. I wanted to make it stop so badly. Her pain began to show as tears fell down her cheeks as she yelled. I tried to talk but she wouldn't let me. She began yelling about how much of a jackass I was; about how terrible I was. She screamed that she hated me and that I ruined her life. The heat that had been slowly creeping up my spine burst forth and tore through me. I watched in slow motion as my hand morphed into a paw and my nails grew into dagger like claws tearing into her precious face. **_

The memory stopped suddenly. I was alone in my head. I was on my hands and knees, my actual hands and knees.

"I don't do emotions. Keep that shit to yourself." I snapped standing up.

Jared was trying shakily to stand up. His forest green eyes stared at me in disbelief as I walked into my cabin leaving him with Sam.

I walked through my backdoor opening up into the kitchen. The black stained cabinets created a small U-shape with stainless steel appliances. To my left was the archway into my study. Bookcases covered the far wall and the room held an eerie feel to it.

I passed through the kitchen into my living room. The blood red of the carpets crawled up the walls and faded into black. A small black couch and a fire place was dead center of the room. To my right was my bedroom. I walked into the room and found a pair of boxers and shorts before lying down on my California king. The bed was a giant pile of black and red. The black carpet and silver walls were covering me in the familiar darkness of my life.

I tried not to think about the fact that I just changed into a giant dog and choked another 'pack-mate'. It bothered me. When things bother me I resort to anger.

"Paul?" Sam's voice called as I listened to his soft footfalls cross my kitchen.

I snarled demonically in warning. I don't want people in my house.

I heard his steps falter slightly, "Paul you may not respect me but if I choose so you will be given commands. I need to explain this all to you!"

I glared at his form blocking the light from my living room.

"Get this straight. I don't want you in my house. I don't talk. I don't do people. I don't like people. You want to talk go ahead and ramble from my backyard." I stated with a low growl.

Sam glared at me and stood his ground.

_At least he isn't a push over. _

I glared right back and crossed my arms, "Make this quick Uley."

Sam's eyes flashed angrily.

I stared at him with an emotionless expression twisting my wrist in the 'go on' motion.

"You may be an apathetic jackass but you are stuck with me and Jared now. Get use to it. I am your alpha whether you like it or not. If you choose to continue ignoring me, I will alpha order you. You cannot choke out your brother-"

I growled deeply and menacingly, "You are not my _brothers_," I spat the disgusting word, "I don't care if I'm stuck in this pack don't you ever categorize yourself as my family."

Sam started at me with concern in his eyes. I hated when people gave me that look. It was a knowing look.

I broke my own rule. Don't get angry at something they said or they know what's wrong.

I snarled and shoved past him rushing out of my house. I hit the grass and exploded.

I attacked the trees in my rage.

* * *

_Author's Note: I must thank my pre-reader **Sam Winchesters Love Child**. She is amazing!_

_Thank you for the read! Review and tell me what you thought! I enjoy criticism, it helps me better my writing so go a head and tell me if you didn't like it. This story is going to be uploaded and updated kinda slowly. I would like to perfect this story and progress is better than I did with my other stories._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Author's Note: thank you to my lovely pre reader, **Sam winchesters love child**! Great girl right there!_

* * *

**Judged**

_Chapter 2_

* * *

Jared had a hard time accepting that I had not only beaten him in a fight, but I took his place in the pack. I was second in command now. Sam and I got into a fight about a week after I had phased. He beat me so I at least respect that he is alpha. As a man, I'm not too sure just yet.

I was walking behind Sam and Jared as we made our way through the woods to Sam's house. He wants me to meet his girlfriend already.

I was told last week that she is his imprint. What is an imprint? Jared told me to just watch them interact. He told me not to say something about her scars either.

I stayed quiet about that advice. I'm a douche bag to most people but women are a different story. Unless I have reason to be rude, women are generally just ignored.

She is our alpha female as Jared would put it.

Sam's house was a small cottage set with the forest curled around it. It had a girlish flare to it seeing as he lived with his girl. I could smell the food cooking from the edge of the woods. It made my mouth water.

I started hunting my food in wolf form now. I can't afford the amount of food it takes for me to feed myself.

Walking into the back yard Jared nudged my shoulder and nodded towards Sam. I glared at Jared for touching me, taking an obvious step away from him before looking to Sam.

He has sped up and was practically jogging to get to his backdoor.

Jared and I followed quickly to watch him. Jared had a stupid grin on his face. He thinks imprints are funny for some reason. He thinks Sam is whipped.

Entering the house Sam bee lined for a petite woman in the kitchen.

She had long black hair straight as paper and down to her waist. She was probably 5'5" and was tiny. Her face was beautiful except for the scars running down the left side of her face.

The scar closest inward just missed the edge of her eye and trailed down her cheek hitting the corner of her mouth. It pulled her mouth down into a frown no matter how much she smiled. The scar in the middle started just to the left of her temple and trailed down the side of her face onto her neck. The last scar started behind her ear and curled around the back of her neck.

Sam kissed the start of each scar as she smiled her lopsided smile and giggled at him. Her hands were fisted in his shirt as his arms held her tightly against him. He planted kisses all over her face before sweetly kissing his lips. She sighed and buried her face in his chest.

_He loves her. _My mind whispered.

Jared gave a little snicker and I glared at him sideways before returning my attention at the couple.

"Paul this is my girl Emily. Emily, our newest br-" Sam stopped himself looking at me with an apology in his eyes, "Pack mate Paul."

She gave me a little smile, "It's nice to finally meet you Paul. I've been bugging Sam about him bringing you home for a month now."

"Nice to meet you too Emily." I said as happily as I could manage. My voice was always so devoid of emotion it was hard to put it back in.

She must have been warned because she didn't even frown at my emotionless face and false sounding voice. She simply smiled a little bigger and turned around grabbing a little plate of food.

"Dig in boys!" She laughed sitting at the table.

I narrowed my eyes at Sam. He didn't tell me I had to spend time here.

Emily's hand was on my arm then.

I tensed and growled automatically.

She jerked back apologizing. Sam was holding me against the wall before I could even say something.

"Don't you ever snarl at her, she didn't know." He viciously snarled in my face.

I glared at him until he let me go, "I didn't mean to growl at her."

I turned to Emily who was looking guilty with sad puppy eyes, "I don't like being touched. I didn't mean to growl at you. I was just taken off guard."

Emily gave me a sad smile, "I'm sorry I touched you. You just looked somewhat angry. Please, eat."

Sam ran his hands all over her making sure I didn't break her with my growl. I rolled my eyes at that as I grabbed enough food for three people.

Jared made stupid jokes and played with his food making Emily laugh. I ate silently, watching Sam and Emily interact with one another.

He smiled softly whenever she looked at him and his body seemed to relax when she laughed. If she shifted to the left so did he. When she leaned towards him, he put his arm around the back of her chair. They were breathing in accord too.

_Their hearts were beating in harmony._ I realized as the night went on.

Sam and Emily were getting more food in the kitchen as Jared polished off his 4th plate.

"They're in sync." I said quietly.

Jared looked at me and smiled, "You noticed huh?"

"You told me to so I could see what an imprint was," I said shoving more meat in my mouth, "Their like two halves of the same person."

Jared smiled an almost prideful smile, "Bingo. Imprints are the wolf's other half; their soul mate."

"I didn't mean to growl at her." I stated. I don't treat women badly.

"I know dude. If it was just some chick, Sam wouldn't care but it's his imprint. He will let me and you die before he lets her get hurt by anything." Jared said smiling at me.

"Do you ever stop smiling?" I growled lightly. It was almost irritating.

Jared smirked then, "You may be an asshole with no emotions but I am a happy camper thank you."

I glared at him growling.

"Knock it off you two." Sam ordered walking into the room with Emily close behind.

I was finished with the plate and didn't feel like being here anymore.

"It was nice meeting you Emily. I'm gonna patrol Sam." I stated putting my plate near the sink.

I was pulling off my shorts in the forest before Emily could respond to me.

"He's better than you guys said he'd be." I heard her faintly say.

I scoffed as I phased. My paws hit the ground and I was off.

I learned the patrol route within a week of becoming a giant wolf. I liked running. I liked the freedom of it.

Sam and Jared let me patrol all I wanted. I patrolled long shifts and did them every day. It was relaxing. I let my mind go blank as I ran.

After a couple laps, I began hunting. My fridge was running low.

I stalked a group of deer until I had about 5 deer.

I looked around trying to figure out where I ended up. About 300 ft from me was an old fort.

The tree it was attached to was falling over and had moss covering it. The wood was falling apart and rotting. Most of the fort was moss covered. The swing tied to the next tree was covered in moss and vines too.

I slowly approached the area.

I pictured my little fort as it use to be before I stopped coming out to it. My dad had built it for me when I was a little kid.

I vaguely remembered my mom pushing me on the swing one morning before all the shit hit the fan; before I figured out the pattern.

This little place was my escape for so long. I hid here when I needed to get away from my parents. I loved this place.

I walked up to the front of the fort. Lying on the ground was a little plush hippo. My grandmother gave that to me before she passed. He was worn and dirty. His fur was destroyed from the weather.

The pain I kept so deep in my soul leaked out. I whimpered and laid down with my nose next to the hippo.

I closed my eyes remembering the little guy when I got him. I carried him everywhere. When I couldn't do that anymore, I hid him here. I didn't want something to happen to him.

Memories of me playing in the fort alone with my hippo played like a home video in my head for an hour. My hippo was my only friend growing up. I left him here and forgot about him.

How I had wandered into the backyard of mine old house was beyond me. I nudged the little hippo into the fort with my eyes closed. I didn't want to see what was in the decaying play house.

I grabbed my meat and ran to my house. I couldn't shake the pain slowly filling my heart.

Once I had al l the meat at my house I took off running. I ran until I was in the remote part of La Push. I tore into the trees until I was exhausted.

I ran back to my meat and phased out. I started the work of skinning and gutting the deer. It took me hours. Jared at some point showed up and just sat on my porch. He knew better than to enter my house.

"You seem angrier than usual." He said as I slit the stomach of the last deer.

I glanced at him in my peripherals grunting in response as the guts hit the grass.

"Eventually you'll accept us as at least friends. Right?" He asked as he began helping me clean up the mess.

I stayed silent for a few minutes. Jared let me think as he helped.

_I'm stuck with them indefinitely so I guess that eventually I would be nicer to them. I don't really do too well with people though. _

"I don't know." I finally stated.

"It was instinct to fight when you joined the pack. If more guys phase then you'll have to fight them too. It won't be by choice you just will." He stated grabbing some meat to cut.

I looked at him, pausing my cutting.

"I don't have anything against you. I just don't understand you." He admitted looking at me for a moment.

I went back to cutting; quietly thinking again.

"I don't plan on you ever really understanding me Jared. I'm a closed off person. I don't really like people and I'm not friendly. I have a reputation for being apathetic. As rude and mean as I come off I'm not. I get that I'm stuck with you and Sam for a long time so I guess eventually I'll be a friend to you but-"

"Right now we haven't earned it?" He interrupted.

"But I just don't trust you guys." I finished cutting the next hunk of meat.

Jared nodded as he grabbed more meat to cut. He silently helped me cut all the meat and store it. He didn't touch me but he smiled at me before he left.

I went to sleep thinking about Jared and Sam. I trust myself and only myself. I don't know if I will ever trust Sam and Jared.

I slipped into dreams of my fort and hippo. The scents of my parents hung in the air and burned into my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

**Judged**

_Chapter 3_

* * *

Sam had taken to teaching more about the legends and about the cold ones. I think he is just assuming that I don't know them. He doesn't know that I speak our native tongue either.

My family only spoke English to outsiders and when we weren't at our own house. I grew up with the language. I learned English after I started kindergarten.

Jared and Sam would occasionally speak it around me. They normally were talking about my attitude. I didn't want them to know I spoke it just yet.

**Let's go get some of Emily's cooking. **

_I can't hang around long. I have to stock my fridge._

We trotted through the woods silently. The faint scent of vampire still lingered.

About a week ago, we ran into a lone blood sucker. The scent was disgusting; sugar, bleach, and rotting flesh. It made me sick the first time I smelled it.

Sam gave a wolfish laugh at the memory of me retching.

I growled softly at him.

He just turned and smiled at me with his wolfish grin.

**Did we ever tell you about your wolf's eyes?**

_Nope, but I know they are different from your actual eyes from seeing you and Jared._

Sam had yellow eyes as a wolf but brown like a typical native. Jared's wolf had vibrant green eyes.

**You're wolf has red eyes. **

Sam thought about what he was looking at than; me.

My wolf was very muscular. I was the biggest wolf in that department. I was a few inches shorter than Sam but taller than Jared. My fur was a silver color looking the most like an actual wolf. The eyes though were a deep blood red.

_Cool._

I began trotting towards Sam's place thinking about the eyes.

**We don't know why they are like that. Different colors that is.**

I mentally shrugged as the smell of Emily's cooking wafted to the forest.

I phased back pulling on my shorts. Emily was a great cook. I loved her cooking.

I met her a month ago. I've been a wolf for 3 months now.

She got use to my habits within a week. She doesn't touch me and she completely ignores my apathetic demeanor.

I always sit quietly and observe her and Sam. It's interesting.

Sam hasn't brought up imprinting to me yet but it interests me. They act like one person while being different. They always look at each other like they just fell in love and they greet one another like they haven't seen each other in weeks as opposed to a few hours.

Sam and she had their little hello session as I went and sat next to Jared on the couch.

Jared started coming by to help me with the meat every time I went hunting. He didn't speak or ask any questions like the first time. He just silently helped me and then left.

I could tolerate him a lot more now.

As I sat down, I could see Jared smirk out of the corner of my eye. Sam's eyes got wider as he watched me sit near him. I normally sat as far as I could from the pack.

Jared had a tattoo show on.

"Are we able to get tattoos?" I asked as Emily smiled at my display of sitting near Jared.

Jared smiled widely, "Hell yea we can and they will heal so quickly we can get so many."

"We have to go to the tribal one though. He knows about us since he is on the council." Sam added.

"Do you want one?" Emily asked sitting on the chair near Jared.

She never tried to test where my boundaries were. She just let me set them.

"Yup." I answered watching the TV closely.

Sam sat in his recliner just watching me. He seemed enthralled that I sat near Jared. Emily smiled at me before getting up to get the food done.

The sound and smell of cooking was comforting. The quiet thrum of our hearts was relaxing. No matter how much I distrusted Sam and Jared, my wolf took comfort in the smell of their wolves.

We ate the same as we normally did. Jared made Emily laugh and Sam acted like the moon revolving around his Earth, Emily.

After 5 plates of food, I said my goodbyes and left.

I found a few deer and caught rabbit and fish for variety. Getting the food home I ended up passing my old house; my parents' house.

I could hear the TV blaring as my father drank. My mother was screaming her lungs out at him. I cringed as I heard a fist connect with someone's flesh. They were both screaming then.

I ran home faster as some ache slithered out from deep in my heart.

Jared was already cleaning the fish when I finally got home with the last deer.

He had gotten through 7 of the fish and a few rabbits as I came up beside him and started on the last few fish.

"A new kid is showing signs of phasing." Jared said after about an hour of gutting and skinning.

I paused my cutting, "Who?"

Jared laughed lightly, "Embry Call."

I tried to think about whom that was. I wasn't a friendly person but I was observant. I knew more than people thought I did.

"I thought he was from Makah?" I asked putting the last bunny to the side for cutting.

"So did we, but he is bulking up and getting moody. His father must be from the tribe." Jared said quietly.

"Why do you sound bothered by that?" I asked knowing I was missing something.

"The only people that could possibly father a kid Embry's age were all married with kids." Jared explained.

"Well, who could have cheated on their wife?" I asked.

"Quil Atera II, Harry Clearwater, Joshua Uley, Joseph Lahote, or Billy Black." He said muttering my father's name.

"Probably my father or Sam's dad. Both we already know slept around." I mumbled.

I stopped cutting then. My head jerked up to look at Jared.

"You could have a brother dude." Jared said with a sad expression.

His eyes lite up a little though, "I think this has to be the most emotion I've seen you display and you look mildly surprised."

I scowled at him for the comment making him laugh.

We went back to cutting being silent until we were done.

"When do you think he will phase?" I asked.

"Sam thinks he will join the pack within a month. He's generally really calm though so it could be more. Poor kid is only 17." Jared said as he began walking away from me.

I went into my house, putting away the food before going into my study.

I sat down at my desk and started to draw. I'm an amazing artist. I learned that when one of the psychologists asked me to draw a picture for them.

I loved it too. I had already drawn my wolf and Jared's. I was working on Sam's now.

I worked into the night eventually falling asleep thinking about my next drawing.

* * *

Sam's howl echoed in my mind waking me up. I growled rolling over. I hated that he could do that.

I phased thinking of ways to rip his vocal cords out. Jared laughed at my thoughts mentally agreeing with him.

**It's tradition Paul. Get over it.** Sam laughed coming into view.

_What?_

**It's the first of the month Paul.**

I groaned. Sam makes the first of the month this weird pack bonding day. He woke us up at 7am to hang out in wolf form.

This would be my sixth 'bonding' as Sam would call it. We had one about a week after I phased and every 1st since. I phased 6 months ago.

Jared laughed at my distain and took off running towards the river. I loped after him as he began taunting Sam and I about being slow.

I didn't normally join in with them. We raced a few times last month but that was the extent of my bonding.

Jared always started this event off with swimming. Sam and he wrestled last time.

I got to the river before Sam. I watched Jared as he swam around the river looking like a real dog. I took my spot on this rock that was like a platform extending out over the river. I thought as Jared and Sam tried to figure out who could hold their breath longer.

The past 3 months Jared and Sam have made a huge effort to show me that I could trust them. I guess they have slowly become more like my pack mates then the people I'm stuck with. I still don't really like them touching me but if they warn me before hand, I can handle it.

Sam jumped into the river laughing the wolfish laugh we manage. I waiting until Jared was close to the rock ledge I was perched on before jumping in.

I landed right on top of Jared scaring him.

He broke the surface coughing.

_**You scared the fuck out of me!**_

I gave him a mental smirk.

His muzzle pulled back into what resembled a smile, a wide smile.

We swam around the river for a few hours playing around.

Sam was trying to pull Jared under the water as I pushed my paws on his back.

Sam was faintly thinking about how happy he was that I was participating in this day. Jared was feeling triumphant.

I tried to ignore the faint thoughts.

A faint sugary smell wafted over the river then. Sam and Jared were under water and couldn't smell it.

I stopped playing around and got out of the river on the opposite side from where we entered.

I sniffed around trying to figure out the direction of the smell. Sam and Jared came up wondering where I had gone.

_**Paul! **_

Someone's thoughts forced the image of a vampire leaping at me into my head.

I jerked around to see a blonde leech mere feet from me. He hit me in the chest like a semi truck. I went flying through the air into a tree. The trunk snapped on impact and fell over me.

I scrambled out of the way of the falling tree wheezing and gasping for air. The blond monster stood with jeans, no shoes, and a camouflage jacket. His hair was up in a ratty pony tail.

Sam and Jared were scrambling to get out of the river. Jared was out first and stood snarling in front of me protectively before I could catch my breath.

Sam's thoughts were screaming in my head.

_Shut up! It knocked the wind out of me. I'm fine. _

Jared's growls were deep and dark as two more vampires came out of the woods.

"James! What have you done!?" a dreaded guy snarled looking at us in fear.

_**Fear!**_ A raspy angry voice purred darkly.

_What the hell was that?!_

_**What was what?**_

_You didn't hear that raspy voice?_

**That's your wolf Paul. We can't hear that.**

_**Rip. Kill. Burn. Fear!**_ The voice purred in joy.

I stalked forward slowly, snarling demonically.

The blond one smirked and stood straight, "I found puppies."

Sam and Jared snarled along with me. Jared stood in front of the guy with dreads while Sam was looking at a red head.

_Blondie is mine. _

Sam lunged first and caught the red head's arm. Blondie stepped to grab Sam leaving himself open. I lunged for him knocking into his side sinking my teeth into his throat. Jared's target ran off with him hot on his heels.

Sam and I tore apart the two we had as they screamed out to each other. I crushed blondie in my jaws silencing his screams. The red heads screams filled with agony as I phased back and set her friend on fire.

Soon Sam's prey was silenced too. Jared came trotting back with the dreaded leech in pieces.

As the last parts burned, Jared and Sam phased back.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked Jared.

"Not a scratch," Jared said quickly coming over to me, "Are you okay?"

Sam nodded before looking at me. Jared grabbed my shoulder.

I tensed and let a little growl out. His hand gently pushed against my chest.

"No breaks. No bruises I assume." Jared said quietly to Sam ignoring my warning.

I shrugged his hand off me. Jared looked at me with a small smile, "I had to make sure you were okay. Sorry."

I stared at him with narrowed eyes.

I wasn't going to snap at him for being concerned. Sam and Jared were the closest people to me.

I nodded at him quickly punching his shoulder, "Don't touch me without warning next time."

He smiled widely at me. Sam smiled too.

We phased back and hopped over the river to get back on reservation land. We ended up in a clearing I had created in the first month of my phase.

The area was covered in wild flowers and tall grass now.

I plopped down and rested my head on my paws. Jared laid down and rolled onto his back next to me. Sam laughed at Jared's puppy-esque habits.

Sam sniffed around the clearing and chased a few squirrels around before stretching out on the other side of me.

Jared had drifted off to sleep a few minutes ago. Our dreams were never visible for some reason. Sam and I let the other think without interruption until sleep claimed us too.

I woke up first. It was late afternoon now. Jared and Sam had shifted in their sleep a lot. They were pressed against me and tangled.

Jared was curled towards me with his head on my back. Sam was curled around me almost with his paw over mine under my throat.

It was comfortable, truth be told.

Sam had said we would act like a real pack once I accepted them more. I did notice it too.

I was getting more comfortable with them. Sam and Jared were able to be near me more and Emily hugged me hello the other day. Jared always held conversations when he helped me with the meat. Sam patrolled with me more often and sometimes even asked me questions. Sam and Jared were always touching each other. They said it was a pack thing.

Eventually I would do it too Sam had told me.

Jared's thoughts weren't blank anymore. Picked up my head and looked at him as he started into the woods.

_**I was trying to give you privacy. I couldn't keep blank with you thinking about how we're closer. **_

_Well…you guys are cuddling with me. It was a given train of thought. _

_**I know you don't see it but you are a brother to me Paul. I know Sam thinks it too. We're here for a long time and we have your back no matter what.**_

I replayed the words in my mind as Jared continued resting his head on my back looking at the woods.

Sam started to stir. He yawned stretching a little.

His thoughts were quiet as he observed how I was awake but staying where I was. Jared gave a small mental smile.

Sam listened silently as I replayed Jared words in my head.

**I know you don't like that term Paul but to us you are a brother. You're part of this pack; our pack.**

I let his words circle with Jared's.

_You may not be brothers to me, but you're my friends. My Pack._

_Author's Note: Thank you to my amazing pre-reader/beta **Mali Love**! _

_Review and critique! I take all comments to help better my writting! _


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_Author's Note: to the reader who asked if Paul was autistic, that's a no. Autistic kids generally don't like being touched but are usually friendly depending on where they land on the spectrum. Paul isn't trusting and his an asshole, but not autistic. Why he is the way he is will be leaked a little soon._

* * *

**Judged**

_Chapter 4_

* * *

It's been a year since I phased. Jared and Sam are my best friends. Embry phased about a three days after we were attacked by those three nomads.

His wolf was a grey color with black spots on his back. His eyes were a clear blue. The moment we were phased together my wolf whispered brother to me.

Tiffany Call admitted to him that my father was his father.

I had a little brother.

I was cruel to him for 3 months. I hated that he existed.

"_I didn't make dad cheat you know. Why do you hate me so much?!" He yelled after he got me alone._

"_I don't give a fuck that he cheated on that psychopath. I hate that you got to grow up without him!" I snapped quietly. _

Embry didn't ask about it after that, but we had a mutual understanding.

He was a quiet kid to begin with but he almost never spoke around me. We didn't talk a lot but he was normally at my side.

"Paul?" Embry's voice broke through my thoughts.

We were sitting in Sam's backyard. I was watching Sam and Jared with their imprints. Jared imprinted about a month ago.

I hummed in response.

"Is our dad still around here?" He whispered to me.

I turned towards him with a glare. He shrunk back slightly.

"Our father lives with my mother in the same house they always have been in." I stated.

"He didn't leave? He was here the whole time?" He asked with a desperate sound.

"I told you once before and I won't say it again Embry. You don't want to know him and you sure as fuck didn't miss out on anything," I sighed turning towards him, "Why can't you accept that?"

"Because you grew up with both your parents Paul. I grew up going home to just my mom and being called a bastard by everyone."

"You grew up with a mom. You grew up with Quil and Jacob. You had someone trying to stand up for you," I growled lowly, "I grew up with an egg donor and a sperm donor. I grew up with school psychologists and social workers."

Embry frowned with pity in his eyes.

I growled standing up and stalking towards the woods.

I couldn't keep my mouth shut with Embry. I felt like I needed him to know this shit as my little brother but I didn't want anyone hearing anything.

Sam and Jared were my best friends but they didn't know anything. They knew the main problem just from being around me for a year and being inside my head.

"Paul!" Emily called as I burst into my wolf.

Emily wasn't someone you could say no to. She was just too nice.

I turned and slowly walked towards her. Sam stood nervously behind her. He was antsy with my near her at all since I growled at her all those months ago.

She gave me a small smile as Kim came running out of the house with Jared following close behind her.

Jared and Kim were sickly sweet. It was disgusting to have to see in person and then more in wolf with him. She's a quiet girl but she works perfectly for Jared.

They were just like Sam and Emily; same heartbeat and same breathing. They were two people of the same person.

Kim held out a big basket with food in it. I sighed mentally. No matter what happened they were handing me food if I tried to leave before I ate.

I took the basket handle carefully in my mouth and dipped my head in thanks.

Embry gave me a weak smile with sorrow in his eyes. He couldn't help but ask.

I trotted away dropping the basket off at my house before running patrol for a few hours.

The air began to turn cool and heavy with rain. I got to my backyard just as the rain began to fall.

Embry was sitting in my living room asleep on the couch.

No matter how many times I told him to sleep at his own place he ended up on my couch. When he finally got his mom to tell him who his father was, he ignored her for weeks. Months later and he still hasn't fixed the tear in their relationship. He was more comfortable around me then his mother and I wasn't very nice to him most of the time.

I turned the light out and went to my room to sleep.

* * *

Embry was making food in my kitchen when I woke up. He always made breakfast when he crashed here.

"Morning Paul." Embry smiled lightly as I shuffled into the kitchen.

"Mornin' small fry." I grumbled as I made coffee.

Embry looked back at the pan of bacon with a slight blush on his face. I use to taunt him about being so small when he first phased. Over time, it was just his nickname from me. I wasn't out right kind to him, I had trouble accepting people like that but I could at least show him he was accepted somehow.

"Sam said he wants me to patrol with you today." He said as we ate the food he made.

Sam normally let me patrol alone so I didn't have to guard my thoughts so much.

I gave Embry a confused look. He simply shrugged with the same unknowing look.

We cleaned up the dishes and set off.

Embry was still fascinated with the way our senses worked. His mind replayed everything he was seeing and the amazement he felt flowed freely from his mind.

I silently listened to his thoughts calmed by the innocent easy thoughts. Embry was running ahead of me.

Sugar and bleach?

I snarled violently as my wolf screamed to protect Embry.

He had faltered in his steps as the smell hit his nose. He froze completely at my growl.

Paul?

I leapt over him and crouched lowly as two vampires stopped in front of us on the opposite side of the river.

Embry had never encountered a vampire before.

The leeches were staring at us in awe. The man had slicked back golden hair with high end looking clothes. The women had caramel colored hair that hung in lose curls down her shoulders.

I snarled demonically at the bloodsuckers.

"Esme dear, stay behind me," The man whispered, "They don't seem friendly."

_No shit! _

I thought vamps had red eyes…

I let out a long howl for Sam as Embry sat behind me panicked. He started to howl panicked as the leeches just looked at us.

**What's wrong?**

_**What?**_

_Leeches._

**Stand down! Those are the Cullens!**

"Are you two part of Sam's Pack?" The woman asked quietly.

_Sam_. I snarled viciously.

Sam came jogging out of the bushes human. I circled in front to keep him protected. Jared flanked me and Embry flanked Sam.

"Carlisle, Esme. What are you doing around here?" Sam asked as politely as he could.

"It's good to see you have some help Sam." Carlisle said eyeing me.

Sam paused for a moment as I kept my eyes on the monsters across from us.

"Yes, this is Paul and Jared. Embry is over here." Sam said slowly.

The woman, Esme, looked at me and just froze for a moment.

Carlisle looked back at her before following her line of sight. He looked at me a little confused.

"There's so much blood Carlisle…I-" she seemed to choke back tears.

Carlisle looked at me with an angry expression and blocked her view of me. She calmed the moment she couldn't see me anymore.

I looked at Sam in confusion.

Sam was looking at me with sorrow in his eyes. I hated when he looked at me like that but I was confused and wanted to know what the hell just happened.

_**Some vampires have powers remember? **_

_Yeah so?_

_**She has one. She can see a person's soul and feel the emotions of it when she is looking at them. Your soul is bloody apparently. **_

I snorted and shut my mind as tightly as I could.

_**And the wall is up…**_

How does he do that?

_**Lots of practice and a strong will to keep people out of his past.**_

Jared licked my muzzle lightly. It always seemed like such a weird thing to do but we were a pack. It was instinct to touch and comfort one another.

"What are you here for Carlisle?" Sam asked slightly annoyed.

"Our son and his girlfriend have moved back in with us. She wanted to move here. She was born in Seattle." Carlisle stated wrapping an arm around his wife.

"This is your warning then? How long?" Sam growled lightly.

"We will be here in about a month. We need to tie up loose ends." Esme said avoiding looking at anyone.

Sam gave a jerky nod and turned to leave. Jared and I growled at them and kept our backs to Sam as we left.

* * *

"What the fuck do you mean they can fucking live here! They are fucking bloodsuckers Sam!" I yelled.

"The last pack made a treaty with them. They don't drink from humans. We are honoring the treaty." He said keeping his head held high.

Emily and Kim were standing in the corner with Jared protecting them. Embry was standing near me trying to calm me down.

"Paul, they won't be on the reservation." Embry tried.

"We are supposed to protect humans! Not invite a coven of 8 to live in Forks!" I roared shaking harder.

Jared pressed Kim and Emily farther into the corner behind him. Kim had never seen my fits but Emily knew the drill.

"Outside Paul. Emily doesn't want to be fixing the dining room again." Sam stated lowly.

The familiar heat slithered up my spine as I snarled at him. I closed my eyes trying to calm down. The heat still intensified though. I opened my eyes as Kim whimpered.

"W-What's wrong with his eyes?" Kim asked with fear in her voice.

"Our wolfs' have different colored eyes than ours. His wolf has red eyes." Jared said trying to get her to shut up.

She was terrified of me. I tried not to get angry at the pack and I tried my hardest not to get angry around the imprints. Emily understood the pain of rejection since she got her scars. Kim though didn't understand.

I shivered from the heat as I tried to get outside without breaking anything. Sam sighed in relief once I got into the grass.

I exploded through my clothes and howled an enraged sounded. I took off running the patrol route until I was too tired to run anymore.

* * *

I had collapsed outside along the river in exhaustion last night. Waking up I was met with Embry sleeping against me.

I growled lowly but he didn't wake up.

I couldn't shake this kid. I couldn't help but feel close to him despite not knowing him. We shared the same blood.

I huffed and laid my head down. Embry was only a wolf for 6 months but he was already able to ask me questions that would have gotten Jared or Sam punched. He touches me constantly and my wolf loves it while I just want to kill something.

Embry's mind slowly came out of its sleep. I glowed lowly at him once his mind was fully awake.

I felt a burst of apology as he scrambled away from me. He phased back and yanked on his shorts.

I shook out my fur and followed suit.

"You know I don't like being touched without warning." I snapped.

"Sorry." He mumbled looked down sheepishly.

"Why were you even sleeping near me to begin with?" I asked pulling on my shorts.

He had no reason to really sleep near me. He had his own house and he generally was sleeping on my couch.

He blushed slightly and picked at his nails avoiding my gaze. I narrowed my eyes and stalked away from him.

He, like usual, followed me like a little puppy. I got to my house and pulled on a t shirt before walking towards Embry's home.

"Embry?" Ms. Call quietly asked as we entered the house.

She knew about the wolves and was quick to use our supernatural senses to her advantage. She rounded the corner with a slight smile on her face.

That is until she saw me.

Ms. Call had never liked me. I always had assumed it was for the same reasons as the rest of the reservation. But she didn't like me because I grew up with my father.

I don't think she knew just how terrible that was.

"Oh. Paul." She mumbled awkwardly.

"Get a shirt Embry. If you're going to follow me like a puppy you are at least going to wear your own clothes." I ordered standing near the front door.

Embry nodded and dashed to his room. Ms. Call just stared at me.

"Does he ask questions about Joe?" she whispered after a moment or two.

"All the time." I stated blandly.

"What do you tell him?" She asked stepping towards me slightly.

"I tell him he was better off without him. But of course just like you; he doesn't seem to understand the concept of stop asking and get over it." I snapped.

She gave me a confused look. Ms. Call wasn't one to really pay attention to the world around her.

"You were just another fuck. Embry didn't, doesn't, and won't ever exist to him. Get over it. I will tell you once just as I told Embry. He is a piece of shit that shouldn't have ever become a parent."

_If you could even call him that. _

Embry came into the room looking apologetic for his mother. He knows I don't like people asking.

She looked shocked and hurt. She shut her mouth though and just looked at Embry with a pleading look.

His gaze hardened as he caught her look.

"I'll probably stay at Paul's tonight again." He snapped walking quickly to the door.

I shook my head and walked out after him. He was fucking up something good. He was always close with his mother.

"You shouldn't shut her out so much." I said after a few blocks.

"Oh like you do to everyone?" He hissed looking at me.

I stopped walking and just looked at him. Embry had never spoken like that to anyone let alone me.

"I learned it was better to shut people out. I didn't have someone there to begin with. You do. Besides I have the pack." I stated folding my arms over my chest.

He glared at me, "You barely speak to me and you are hardly friendly with people. I'm surprised you even told Jared and Sam about our dad."

"I didn't tell them shit. Why do you think I told them anything? I don't want to fucking relive that absolute hell. You know more than they do and you still don't know shit." I snapped at my little brother.

"Then fucking tell me! Haven't you ever heard that it's bad to bottle feelings?" He snapped clenching his fists tightly.

I ground my teeth together trying to stay calm.

"I'd stop bringing it up if I knew what was so damn bad about our dad. What was your mom like? Did you have your own room? Did you have family dinners? What? What was so terrible that you shut out ever person because of it? I'm your fucking brother and I can't even touch you without you snarling at me like a psychopath!" He yelled.

I couldn't keep the shaking down. I stiffly moved to the woods needing the cover of the trees. I was still the most volatile and dangerous out of the pack. Embry has so much more control then I do.

I exploded into my wolf. I snarled and snapped my teeth taking out trees in the process.

Jared and Sam had been phased and quickly left. They gave me privacy when I had a meltdown.

Embry though was trying to get himself killed. He phased with his mouth running.

How could anyone be so damn bad that you can't even let your brother be your friend!

The damn broke then. The wall that I constructed so tightly and kept so strong exploded letting so many thoughts through. My heart exploded from the pain that accompanied my memories.

Embry saw everything and his sorrowful howls soon joined mine as I relived my childhood with my little brother sitting front row.

* * *

_Author's Note: thank you for reading! Review and critique! Thank you to me pre reader mali love, she's amazing!_


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